Re: [ga] ICANN 2.0

["James Love" <james.love@cptech.org>]

----- Original Message -----
From: "Marc Schneiders" <marc@fuchsia.bijt.net>
: > As for those counter-revolutionary groups that insist on a voice for
: > advocates of the Proletariat and Intelligensia, the Party will once more
: > claim to be considering criteria to allow for their eventual inclusion.
We
: > look forward to all Commissars treating such petitions in the same
: > even-handed manner that they considered the last such petition.

http://www.peanutscollectorclub.com/football.html

Of all the running jokes with which poor ol' Charlie Brown has been
associated, none has a richer history -- nor a longer one -- that his
attempts to kick the football.
The fourth quarter of each year brings Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas
and Lucy's latest clever little ruse to persuade Charlie Brown to try one
more time ... and her equally creative excuse for yet another failure.
With just a few exceptions, these Sunday strips have appeared every
September or October since the strip hit its stride in the late 1950s. That'
s a lot of decades, and a lot of excuses ... which probably explains why
Schulz skipped a few years, here and there. Can we blame him for not having
come up with a new scheme every year???
But how did it all begin?
Believe it or not, with Violet, rather than Lucy.
Yep, Charlie Brown's very first failed kick took place when Violet held the
ball for him, in the 11/14/51 daily strip. Clearly worried that he might
accidentally kick her hand, she pulls away at the last second while saying,
"I can't go through with it!"
Disbelievers can find this strip reprinted in PEANUTS.
Lucy's involvement began with the 11/16/52 Sunday strip, which can be seen
in PEANUTS: A GOLDEN CELEBRATION. This was shortly after Lucy had been
introduced, when she still looked (and was) several years younger than
Charlie Brown. Aside from that, all the classic elements were in place ...
and, as she pulled the football away at the last second, she explained, "I
was afraid your shoes might be dirty."
But this concept did not become a regular, annual feature until 11/16/56, by
which time Lucy had "grown" and become Charlie Brown's peer. Beginning with
this strip, and nearly every year since, we've been treated to yet another
wonderful reason for Charlie Brown's failure.
What follows is a dated list of these strips, along with the reason for
Chuck's flat-on-his-back disgrace. Unless otherwise indicated, the speaker
is always Lucy.


I'll give you a million dollars (to try again)." (12/16/56 -- Needless to
say, she didn't)
"I'm a changed person ... isn't this a face you can trust?" (9/22/57)
"I give you my bonded word." (9/21/58)
"You have to learn to be trusting..." (10/4/59)
"The odds now are really in your favor!!" (10/16/60)
This time, Chuck himself pulls back at the last moment, expecting to catch
Lucy in the act. This prompts her to say, "Don't you trust anyone any more?"
He then tries for real, with predictable results. (9/10/61)
Charlie Brown works himself into this old loop: "This time she knows I know
she knows..." (9/30/62)
"A woman's handshake is not legally binding." (9/8/63)
"Peculiar thing about this document ... it was never notarized." (10/4/64)
(Lucy seems to be dozing.) "We fanatics are light sleepers, Charlie Brown."
(10/17/65)
The ball is jerked away by a chance muscle spasm ... a "ten-billion-to-one"
muscle spasm. (9/25/66)
Lucy promises a surprise: The results are the same, but then she says,
"Would you like to see how that looked on instant replay?" (10/1/67)
"Look at the innocence in my eyes." (9/29/68)
(Lucy cries over his lack of faith.) "Never listen to a woman's tears,
Charlie Brown." (9/28/69)
"How long, O Lord?" Charlie Brown wails, flat on his back.
"How long? All your life, Charlie Brown ... all your life." (10/11/70)
"This year's football was pulled away from you through the courtesy of women
's lib." (9/26/71)
He tries to hedge his bets by seeking advice at Lucy's psychiatric booth,
but... "Unfortunately, Charlie Brown, your average psychiatrist knows very
little about kicking footballs." (10/8/72)
Lucy beguiles him with a riddle: "What are the three things in life that are
certain?"
"Death and taxes," he muses, running, "and..." (11/11/73)
She shows him a theater-style program that guarantees success, but... "In
every program, Charlie Brown, there are always a few last-minute changes."
(10/13/74)
She accuses him of mistrusting all women, including his mother. "I'm not
your mother, Charlie Brown." (10/19/75)
She tells him she's going to pull it away, but he seems not to hear her.
"Men never really listen to what women are saying, do they?" (9/12/76)
"Just watch my eyes." (But she wears sunglasses.) (10/9/77)
She gives him a banana before he begins his run, which initially puzzles
him. "Bananas are high in potassium, Charlie Brown, which promotes healing
of muscles." (10/1/78)
In 1979, Charlie Brown winds up in the hospital for surgery. In a fit of
desperation, Lucy promises not to pull the football away the next time, if
only he'll get better. Well, he obviously gets better, and all the
neighborhood kids await the results. This multi-week "novelette" climaxes in
the 8/2/79 daily strip, when she doesn't pull the ball away ... but Charlie
Brown misses and kicks her arm instead!
By the following year, though, Lucy is up to her usual tricks: "To every
thing there is a season ... and a time to pull away the football."
(11/16/80)
"Again, Charlie Brown ... and again, and again and again." (11/29/81)
She mutters vaguely about symbolism, but still pulls the ball away.
"Somehow, I've missed the symbolism," he says.
"You also missed the ball, Charlie Brown," she replies. (10/10/82)
What seems something of a climax: Charlie Brown rebels and walks away,
emphatically saying, "I'm just glad you're the only person in the world who
thinks I'm dumb enough to fall for that trick again." But, in the last
panel, he sees more footballs held by Snoopy, Woodstock, Sally, Peppermint
Patty and Marcie. This strip appears on the back cover of I'M NOT YOUR SWEET
BABBOO (but not inside, oddly enough) and also in YOU DON'T LOOK 35, CHARLIE
BROWN. (10/16/83)
And, for a few years, it seemed as though that would be it. 1984 and 1985
passed without our annual treat. But the gimmick returned in 1986, although
the pattern had become a bit different. Henceforth, rather than being
tricked into trying to kick the ball, Charlie Brown simply approaches this
annual rite of humiliation as though it were an obligation ... along the
lines of attending church each Sunday. The excuses, and Lucy's remarks,
became more introspective and philosophical.
"You look forward all year to a special moment, and before you know it, it's
over." (10/19/86)
(She checks a pocket calendar.) "This is the only time I can really fit you
in." (10/4/87)
"It's so sad ... eventually everything in life just becomes routine."
(10/23/88)
"Think how the years go by, Charlie Brown ... think of the regrets you'll
have if you never risk anything..." (10/1/89)
"I've been reading this book about holding the ball," she insists, in an
early panel. But, then... "I wrote the book, Charlie Brown." (9/29/91)
"I've discovered," Sally comments, as she watches this annual ritual, "that
love makes us do strange things."
"So does stupidity," her brother explains, wanting her to understand the
distinction. (11/11/92)
Lucy proudly displays a new ball, but... "It suddenly occurred to me that if
I let you kick it, it wouldn't be new anymore..." (10/3/93)
"How often do you think you can fool someone with the same trick?" Sally
demands, watching her brother walk outside.
"Pretty often, huh?" she says, a few panels later. (10/16/94)
"If she pulls the ball away," Charlie Brown promises, "I'll sue." He's
followed in the final panel by Snoopy in his Joe Attorney outfit ... and, in
an unexpected development, we don't see him miss! (Neither do we see him
succeed.) (10/29/95)
"Symbolism, Charlie Brown! The ball! The desire! The triumph! It's all
there!" (10/20/96)
"People change ... times change ... you can feel it in the air." (9/21/97)
"I have a new positive attitude," Charlie Brown announces.
"I can't believe it," Lucy replies. "...you talk the talk and you walk the
walk."
And then, after the inevitable...
"But you don't kick the kick." (11/15/98)
Forced to retire from the field to eat lunch, Lucy leaves the football in
Rerun's capable hands. When he walks into the house a few minutes later, she
demands to know what happened.
"You'll never know," the little fellow answers, at which point she wails
with frustration.
(And we don't know, either!) (10/24/99)



--------------------------------
James Love mailto:james.love@cptech.org
http://www.cptech.org +1.202.387.8030 mobile +1.202.361.3040


--
This message was passed to you via the ga@dnso.org list.
Send mail to majordomo@dnso.org to unsubscribe
("unsubscribe ga" in the body of the message).
Archives at http://www.dnso.org/archives.html