[nc-budget] Re: Draft #1 - Request for Sponsors

["Philip Sheppard" <philip.sheppard@aim.be>]

Chuck, thanks for the forward of the sponsor's proposal now that I have
taken over from Theresa in the budget group.

I think it reads well and have just a couple of suggestions.

1. Can we specify the NC fiscal year (e.g. Jan to Dec 2000 or whatever).
2. "As a top priority, the Names Council plans" . Should we say "as the top
priority?" . If not the other top priorities need a mention.
3.  "Developing processes and procedures that will minimise the amount of
subjectivity and increase the amount of measurable objective criteria in the
consensus-building process."
This comes over a bit defensive and as potential sponsor might be put off by
the sound of a messy history!
Perhaps better is: "Developing processes and procedures that will increase
the amount of measurable objective criteria in the
consensus-building process."
4. "fully open, transparent and accountable manner". I know this phrasing is
not yours and keeps on cropping up but it does seem repetitive. The
journalist training in me starts to emerge (apologies).
- what is "not fully open", what is half transparent?
- what is the distinction between "open" and "transparent"?
I would opt for "a transparent and accountable manner"

Philip.